Sunday, December 20, 2009

Honesty & Relationships

Today will be the first and last time that I ever write a note & blog about my personal life where I admit I am wrong. I have never been one to kiss & tell but today I will do just a bit of that…Tell only. If you think I am wrong, include your advice it’s always good to hear other’s opinions.

I guess the snow can bring out the best and in some cases the worst of some couples, because this weekend a very good friend has been going through a lot and I have been listening until last night where I just had to be real. You see my friend is thinking about leaving the person she is with over what seems to be petty issues. You know the issues that should and can be fixed with just a little talking.

The question posed to me was how I remain happy when I am single. She laughed and said “Shica, I think your heart is made of ice”. Now, to be completely honest I did not know how to take that and was a bit taken aback. I took a deep breath and said, “Tonight I’m going to let you in my world. It’s a bit sad yet happy but it’s how I keep going”.

I told her I was never one to believe fairy tales and pixie dust; I never had dreams of Prince Charming coming to kiss and awaken me or a knight and shinning armor coming to rescue me because I never needed it. I have always told people that I expect exactly whatever it is that you are going to do, which means I expect nothing! That being said, I have liked, lust, and dare I say been deep in love! This statement must have shocked her because now all the questions came….like when I go out to events why I never bring anyone along, why I do not invite them to gatherings at the house, or why I never really discuss the person until it is over. Therefore, I explained I do not like to rush into things; if possible, I will drag it out until I am sure of you, I do not want to waste my time or theirs. You know I do not jump into things head first and risk being paralyzed by the things that are right in front of my face. You see I have dated many not know to close family or friends, but you best believe when I’m heading out I have told one person just in case I come up missing…And I’m for real about that.

The person(s) I am dating will know all about those close to me because eventually I plan to introduce them to the most important people in my life. There is no need to tell my fam or friends about them until I plan to bring them around and as far as discussing them everyday all day that’s not important to me…what’s important is how I feel about them and often times the world could careless about that so what’s the point?

Nevertheless, this year, oh this year, I had to admit to her that I fell! Somewhere along the line, I tripped and I fell hard so no my heart is not made of ice and if it is it was beginning to melt away. While I can say I wasn’t deep in love, but it was love there; I had to admit that when I gave up everyone and everything for this one person I did not communicate what I wanted or need from him I just gave up, walked away, and cried to myself because I miss him.

My advice to her, do not look to me as an example because not everything that glitters is gold. The smile you often see hides emotions that only I know. When you are in your 20’s it’s cool to run the streets, club hop, and run to every Joe, Nick, and Tay, but you will grow tired of that life and realize it’s time to grow up, open up, and be honest with yourself and others. If you love him and you truly want to be with him tell him how you feel. Tell him all the things that bother you but tell him all the good things you love about him. Nevertheless, be ready to hear all the things that he has to say. Remember it is a two way street, be considerate of his feelings and know that there will be consequences to your actions…This is something that I am slowly learning!

The three L’s, LIKE, LUST, LOVE, will often cause trouble either good or bad but only you can determine if it’s a failure or success.

"Some people walk into our lives for a brief moment, some people walk into our lives to stay, but they all leave footprints in our hearts." You determine if you want to be that moment, season, or lifetime.

Friday, September 4, 2009


What are you doing? Follow Me @XYZ. Update Status. Friend Request Sent. XYZ Suggested a Friend to You. Confirm You Know This Person. You have 6 New Friend Request.

Now that we have all these social networks such as Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, and that's just to name a few, what will our world of communication become? We even have these popular sites as applications on our cell phones, that's just how much we we use these sites to communicate with our peers. We no longer pick up the phone to say "Hey lets meet for lunch," or "How have you been? I haven't TALKED to you in a while?” Now we have that every addictive Facebook, Twitter, and that once very popular my space and instant messenger to ask those very questions.

I'm guilty of it all, I'm posting this very blog from my cell phone,lol.
What if we all update our status correctly; can you imagine that? I can only laugh at that very thought. Mine would go something like this:
Tashica N. Gravely(fb) is on the train heading to work listening to the iPod and writing a blog from the cell.
Blaquediamon(twitter) Its FF follow @(list all friends)happy Friday and check out the new blog (All this in a 140 characters or less).

But wait I'm not done! Now I have to read all my follower's comments and all 150+ people I follow just to stay up on the latest in fashion, music, and YES GOSSIP! I still need to reply to all my e-mails and text messages, and this is all from my cell!

I'm starting to miss the days of going out and searching for my friends in the area once we get separated. I miss the days of calling someone and saying "Hey what's good? We are going to such and such, are you coming?" I miss the days when I actually went outside and didn't make a U-Turn to get my phone, and although we want the world to "GO GREEN" I miss reading the entire paper/magazine, and I miss the days of playing physical games instead of using my thumbs on the cell phone, Playstation, Wii, XBox, or whatever else my little cousins are playing.

Lets get back to the "old days" of calling one another, going out without making plans over a text, email, twitter, or facebook.

Until then follow me @blaquediamon send a friend request to Tashica N.
Gravely or click on one of my blogs or to see what I’m up to or to read my latest thoughts.

Friday, August 21, 2009


Cable, Phone, INTERNET, a bundle package sounds great right? Wrong! It has come to a point where I thought I could just cut everything off and then I realize I can’t do everything from phone. And while I have become so annoyed with one company and the service it provides I just can’t let it go no matter how hard I try.

Now normally I wouldn’t put a company out there unless I’m really upset but guess what? I’M REALLY UPSET AND I THINK VERIZON SUCKS! Now there is a history with Verizon, formally Bell Atlantic or C&P, I’m not that old but my grams and many others can remember the names of the companies it once was.
Anyhoo, I first signed up with Verizon in 1998 and have been a customer since, but for some odd reason the company does not appreciate the loyalty of their customers. I am one of many customers who pays a monthly bill to avoid having bad credit or termination of service, but yet I still find that I have problems with their representatives and my service as if I don’t pay my bill.

Let me list a few of the problems I have, but no one seems to want to help
• I do not receive a monthly bill!
o Now I have never signed up with Verizon to receive paperless statements, so why I don’t get a bill I have no clue.
o Call after Call I could receive no help because I did not have an account number. How can I give you my account number if I have not received a bill in years?
o Their solution was to go to the web site and sign up for an account. How dumb is this? If all I had to do was give my address, phone number, and e-mail address anyone could have get my bill information, so why couldn’t I give this info over the phone and receive a paper statement as I have been requesting before everyone wanted to GO GREEN

• Internet
o I first signed up with DSL when Verizon first initiated but since I still had to use MSN and pay the 21.95 a month I terminated the service.
o Verizon updated DSL and made it better and boy oh boy was I happy to get rid of dial-up. I will say I never had a problem with DSL(except with the price going up and down), but the phone connection is a whole other story and will be addressed later.
o FIOS the next thing since slice bread…YEAH RIGHT! Now I have asked a few friends and family members who have made the switch their thoughts and we have all came to the conclusion that it SUCKS! And you can not switch back to the regular DSL because of the fiber optic wires.
• Cable
o So a rep came to the house and suckered my grams into signing up for fios by telling her she would be billed 99.00 a month and with taxes and fees it should be no more than 150.00 a month. LIE NUMBER 1!
o She received here first bill two weeks after install and it was 238.36 cents, now if my math serves me correctly this is and 88.36 cent addition to what she was quoted. NEEDLESS TO SAY I SENT THEM THEIR EQUIPMENT BACK!

I can go on and on because I have really become enraged by this whole thing. I was in the middle of a posting for class when I lost my connection to the internet and had to manually plug in my computer to my VERIZON WIRELESS ROUTER and diagnose my own connection problem. So I still couldn’t get a connetion wirelessly I decided to call my computer company to see if it was my wireless card….NOPE NOT THE PROBLEM!
So I call the 24/7 tech support through Verzion and the a**holes of this company are now better with helping so after an hour of resetting my router, having the tech log on to my computer remotely, and yelling a few curse words I have decided to give up unitl Sunday morning.

I have so much more to say about this whole company and much much more to add to my list of complaints, but my thumbs are becoming numb because I’m posting this whole blog from my cell phone which is not from Verizon! So please forgive me for just jumping around on this topic and cutting this whole thing short, but I just had to get all this off my chest because who knows if I would actually get back on the internet wirelessly.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Is It Really Cheating!

Can guys and gals just be friends? In my opinion yes we can all be friends! I personally don't see anything wrong with just being a friend with the opposite sex. There are many people who are friends with one another but nothing sexually is happening as a matter of fact there are no physical attractions there. I do believe that when you develop friendships with the opposite sex there are rules and boundaries that should not be crossed and I will list those near the end.

The reason for this blog…well lets just say my "friend" just recently had an "episode" about being friends with a guy. He knows about my best friend so there was not fight over him because "he was there before me." Truth is I knew you before I knew him; however, we just were on a different level, but of course I didn't say this to him ;-). His problem lies in a guy I just meet this year. As he likes to put it I'm "p*&^y in a jar" he is just "waiting for something to go wrong so he can move in." My reply “stop doing the wrong thing and you don't have to worry."

Guys/girls don't place your wrong doing or insecurities on others! Not everyone out here is a cheater like you or your ex! Do me a favor and grow up, people are meant to meet and greet! As the saying goes "Some people walk into our lives for a brief moment, some people walk into our lives to stay, but they all leave footprints in our hearts." You determine if you want to be that moment, season, or lifetime.
Rules to having what I think are a great girl or guy friendship!

1. Introduce the newbie to the bestie! This way they have no problems with the other. *unless they are just messed up in the head, and you know the girl/guy is shady*
2. Once this girl or guy starts a new relationship one should be cautious as not to call all hours of the night unless it is an emergency! Who really calls to say what’s up at 2 in the morning?
3. Gift giving must stop! Unless you are me, I expect a card, gift, call, or something! And if you still continue to give gifts make your girl/boyfriend apart of the gift giving. Let them help pick out the gift, let them be a part of your relationship.
4. If all else fails don’t give up your friendship but just fall back and know that there is nothing wrong with him/her trying to maintain the relationship with someone who they may want around longer than you in other departments 

Wednesday, April 15, 2009



Every time I ride the train I ask myself why? Why do children act and speak in a manner that I know they were not raised to act and speak. Why do grown men refuse to give up their seats to women especially elderly, but today I was most shocked when a man called a women a bitch because she refused to move her sleeping child so he could have a seat.
Unbeknownst to him her daughter and son was sitting directly behind her and when her daughter spoke up and this is when all hell broke loose. As the daughter reprimanded this older man about disrespecting her mother this man failed to see the error in his ways and would not back down. He went word for word with this lady who stood all of 4ft 5in. and as the threats continued to spill out his mouth no other man stood up for these ladies...Now I'm sitting there with my iPod in my ear at full blast, my magazine in hand, and phone in lap as I turned towards him to give him my seat I notice that there are other seats around...So I say "sir you are more than welcome to have this seat and I will take one of the empty seat." This was not said in the kind normal manner I would on any given day but it was said in a sarcastic tone with all the malice I could muster for this man because he was wrong. This eff'ing retard then says the words that I still can't believe "IT'S NOT ABOUT THE SEATS." Now as I realize that it is too early for this non-sense I think to all started over a seat that you wanted and the lady would not move her child.
I'm just going to wrap it up as rainy and cold day for all and no one really wants to be out. As he is not in the best of moods neither am I so instead of giving up my seat I just turn back around and let his dumb azz stand there .

For all of you who decided to return back to school I commend you! This semester I said I'm tired of school and have an 89% completion rate which means I'm almost done with school. As those numbers pumped my head up I said "Shica, you can do this take 13 credits...You got this!" well I had this up until my cousin got sick and I fell behind in my course work but because I was assigned to a group I stayed in contact with them, I started on my project and e-mailed updates which I didn't get any replies. So last night/early morning I almost lost all my cool and went on this group member...
Background on the project:
We are to design a magazine about domestic violence, we are to design this magazine off of one of the popular magazines of this time. We all had to agree on the subject, audience, and blah blah idea was to cater to a younger audience, use Vibe, US, or a magazine that "others" could relate. My guess is that this one particular group member must be a older, around 40 something, who replies to my e-mail that this is a very sensitive subject and I don't think we should cater to children and use a magazine such as "Highlights" as he went on to suggest that we use "Time". Now you know I type the first e-mail and went on him BUT I need to remain professional so I deleted that email and wrote a very nice and simple e-mail that explained what the magazine is about and why we should write to a younger audience.
Not one to cause drama I just went with this dumb azz and go with the group, when this MAN(the term I am using loosely) no chooses "People" as the sample magazine.

So here it was a cold and rainy Saturday, I work on the "Dear Abby" section that I am assigned and submit it feedback from my other group members were great but here comes the azz of the group that say's the following:
Sorry for taking so long to reply back to you. I was with family over the > > Easter Holiday and did not have time to respond to emails. Your content is good, however, we are suppossed to format our text into at least two > > columns like the magazine, and your text should be in Times New Roman (12 > > pt).
This was copied and pasted from the e-mail....SO YOU KNOW I HAD TO REPLY AND HERE IS HOW E-MAILS WENT
It's not a problem at all how long you took, glad you had time with your

We are still using "People" as the format for our magazine right? If so,
"People" does not have a standard format for a "Dear Abby" because they do
not have a section of this kind. However, they use different formats for
extra blurbs they have with-in the book. The main articles in "People" are
in two columns written in Times New Roman 12pt font which I will do for my

If the rest of the group would like me to change how it's written I will do
that, otherwise I would like to keep it the way I wrote it. I will also make
the corrections that Christian sent me.

I will also send my article Sunday or mid-week next week. I was also
wondering what we were going to do about the other parts that need to be
filled in.



The whole idea is to make our format similar, so that the finished product looks like it belongs together. Neither one of your slides is similar in font size, style, or format. If you do not agree with my recommendations then that is fine by me. My only intention is to offer suggestions that, in my opinion, will make the finished product look more professional. After all, I am your classmate, not your boss.

As far as the other parts, I believe that the only things left to be assigned are the Cover Page, and Table of Contents. If you, or one of our other group members would like to take ownership of one, or both, of these remaining parts then please let me know. Otherwise, I will do them. If I am missing something else then please let me know.

Oh so now you don’t know who to spell my name!

So as I’m sitting here just wanting to go off I’m going to change the format to 12font Times New Roman and have a boring azz magazine.

So then we have the military!

They are taking both of my babies….the one I’m in like with and the one I just have fun with my brother!

Sunday, March 15, 2009


Have you ever forgotten that you are special? Have you ever had that one person that you for some odd reason just can’t leave alone? I’m talking about that one person who gives you butterflies when you are anticipating seeing them or are around them. The person who you think you can’t live without so you are always willing to be there at their beck and call. But when you look at the big picture that person does not give you the same.

When it comes to intimate relationships you toss everything that is right out the window for everything that is wrong because you let your emotions control your actions instead of logic. There are people out here that we love, I mean love so hard but they don’t return the same feelings, which fail to see our worth. The sad thing about the whole situation is the one that gives everything eventually losses everything. You end up with a broken heart, maybe low self-esteem, or some insecurities and you will have to ask yourself when is enough ENOUGH!

After you have went through your feeling of sadness, loneliness, and maybe anger you will walk away a stronger person and remember that you are indeed worth more than that person gave you. You will know how to go into the next relationship, you will know how much you are willing to tolerate, you will know when to walk away, and you will know how to communicate what you need, what you want, and WHAT YOU DESERVE!


Remember the words of Dr. Maya Angelou “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

Thursday, March 12, 2009

R.I.P. Ta'Nica!

Today is the day that we will bury my cousin. Please remember to tell those you love how you feel, because you will only have those last thoughts, memories, and what could have, should have been!

Stay Healthy!

We miss you! We love you!
R.I.P. Ta’Nica
Januray 15, 1979 March 5, 2009

Friday, February 13, 2009

Ovarian Cancer

Once again the Big C has hit a loved one and this time I feel so helpless. When my aunt was diagnosed with Breast Cancer she told us about it, she told us about the options available, she told us about the decision she made, and she didn’t shut us completely out. Now what she didn’t tell us about was her Lung Cancer. I like to believe that she didn't tell us because she thought we would not be able to handle it and not that she couldn't. On the up and up we would have been able to handle that we are a strong family…We can do anything…at least that is what we tell ourselves.

Now it has been a little over a year heading towards two that I have lost my aunt to cancer and Wednesday I was hit with more bad news. My cousin, my bestfriend, the person who shared baths and Barbie dolls, birthday parties and secrets, proms and graduations, Saturday nights were on lock with us going to the "Black Hole" to see R.E., we talked babies, baby showers, wedding plans, and more baby showers...This is the same chick I took my first drink with, shared those light night/early morning calls when we drafted apart a little. The day she got married I stood by her side as we have always planned and if she is not cured who will stand on my left. I swear I can handle the news, but what I can't handle is being shut out, having a feeling of helplessness when I know you are going through and there is nothing I can do for you.

Is there anyone out there who can give me advice on how to support a love one who has slipped into depression? Any information on support for the family & friends?

Let me do my part and post what I have learned about Ovarian Cancer in the last two days.

Ovarian cancer is the 7th most common cancer in among women in the U.S. It is the 5th leading cause deaths in women. Less than one-third of ovarian cancers are detected before it has spread outside of the ovaries which is why symptoms comes when the cancer has reached a later stage.

Majority of ovarian cancer is diagnosed at a late stage…after the cancers have spread. According to National Institutes of Cancer (NCI) 20% of woman are diagnosed early. Despite what many think there is no particular screening to test for ovarian cancer; sometimes regular pelvic exams supplemented by ultrasounds or blood tests for cancer related markers have been used to detect ovarian cancer. posted that June 2007, the American Cancer Society, Gynecologic Cancer Foundation, and the Society of Gynecologic Oncologists released a consensus statement about early symptoms of ovarian cancer. This statement was based on research suggesting that some of the early symptoms of ovarian cancer can be recognized, some early symptoms include the following:

If you are having any of these symptoms I encourage you to please get checked. You may want to say it is the cause of this, that, and the other but it’s not…YOU WILL NOT KNOW WHAT IT’S FROM UNTIL YOU VISIT YOU PCP OR GYN.

I ask that you all pray for my cousin, I ask that you keep yourself in a healthy state, and I ask that you pick up where I’m leaving off and post more information, email, text your love ones, and raise awareness.


Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Heart of the Matter!

Many of you have seen the Red Dress pins or icons; many may wonder what it is about. Well today you will know all about it. The Red Dress represents awareness that women are at risk for heart disease and to motivate women to take action to reduce their risk. Again why the red dress, well it tested well among women that believe that the icon has the ability to get attention, let the world know that it is not only a man’s issue, and to stress the seriousness of heart disease.
The Heart Truth is a national campaign for woman that raises awareness about heart disease and provides information to help as take action. The Heart Truth is sponsored by the Department of Health and Human Services and National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (NHLBI) and was created because of the recommendation of more than 70 experts in women’s health.
While doing their research it was revealed that most women underestimate their personal risk and do not fully understand the results that this disease takes on the person affected and their family. Heart disease primary target are women ages 40 to 60; however, it is never too early to take precautions and/or to prevent heart disease.
The Red Dress, the centerpiece of The Heart Truth, is a red alert that inspires women to take action to protect their heart health. The primary message driving The Heart Truth campaign is: "Heart Disease Doesn't Care What You Wear—It's the #1 Killer of Women."
Are you wearing RED!
The Heart Truth introduced the Red Dress as the national symbol for women and heart disease awareness at the campaigns launch in 2002.
To show support for women and heart disease and to promote the Red Dress, the first Friday in February, both women and men, across the country to unite in this movement and to keep all informed, especially women, about heart disease. So show your support by wearing your favorite red dress, shirt, tie, or the RED DRESS PIN!
The Heart Truth introduced the Red Dress as the national symbol for women and heart disease awareness at the campaign's launch in 2002.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Professionalism...Please Come Back!

Professionalism- noun- [pruh-fesh-uh-nl-iz-uh m]
1. Professional character, spirit, or methods.
2. The standing, practice, or methods of a professional, as distinguished from an amateur.

I decided to post the pronunciation and meaning of this one word that people seem to forget about. I am begging for it to reappear in our daily lives.

Despite how you might feel about the people you work for or around you must still hold a certain aura about yourself. You should always leave people thinking how good you are at your job whether you want to be there or not. You should want to leave an impression that the job just will not be the same once you leave; make them realize how much you did, how much you know, and that although your position has been replaced by another they can not replace the work you have done or the contacts you have made.

What people need to learn about PROFESSIONALISM is that it reflects you as a person…get it your CHARACTER! You are most likely considered a professional, a go to person, but when your attitude reflects otherwise who will look at you and would agree that you are in deed a professional.

I for one expect nothing from anyone, learned that the hard way. Now my motto for people out side of family would be “I expect you to do exactly what it is you are going to do.” You may ask yourself what does she means by that. Well it’s what the above say, I expect absolutely NOTHING! People promise you the world, people say this that and the other until you are actually there and because they have problems or issues they switch up the game both in your professional and personal life, but again it makes them look bad.

Now Professional life v. Personal life, I need for people to learn to distinguish between the two. Professional you do what you have to do to get the job done and get paid…this does not mean back stabbing, biting, or lying but being a hard worker and being honest. After duty hours leave it at your desk and on the grounds of you business establishment.
Personal life may consist of some people from your professional life but what they did doing duty hours needs to be chop it up as a lost and keep moving. Let that person know you don’t discuss business outside of work.

As a friend you are obligated to listen to another friend vent about his/her problems about work, but where do you draw the line when you know their decision will affect you?
And after you are tired of listening to a person who can’t distinguish from the two what do you do?
As for me I get vocal, I will tell you how messed up a situation is…and guess what? I don’t care what you have to say about me when it’s all said and done. Why? Because a few things can happen; you will see the error of your ways (maybe early or maybe to late), you will try be professional and do your job, or you may just lose out on both professional and personal contacts.

Remember it’s all up to you.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Happy New Year!

Have you took a step back and looked at your life lately? Well I have and noticed that there is a lot of room for me to grow, learn, and do a whole lot more that I can not mention here, lol. I'm going to start with the people who mean me no good or the people you tend to hold on to just because you have had them around for years upon years and it just seems like they belong there.

Today is the day where I will get rid of those who want to use me, those who I have used, and those relationships that has ran its course and we have no means to be together as friends or enemies. I mean what’s the purpose of holding on to these relationships? In my eyes I can see one of three things happening:
1.You will continue to be used until they are done with you.
2.The person you use will start to see clearly and either use you or end the “friendship”.
3.You will never have room to grow into a healthier and happier relationship.

What made me realize all this? Well a few family members that appears to always be happy and can see the bright side of everything, a friend when he texted me about his daughter (thanks for making me an auntie, lol), and an associate that has never seen or heard me talk about a person, but picked up on the chemistry that is shared and painted a portrait that only someone on the outside can do. OH and it doesn’t hurt that a special someone said something to me that melted my heart. Is this not enough to make you think about what you really want in life.

I see that I now want a complete package, I want the joy of family and friends, I want the love of family and friends, I want the warm feeling inside when my God-son tells me I’m the best in the world, when my cousins call or text just to see how I’m doing, I want a people that can put a smile on my face when the day is not going so right, I want a person that keep butterflies in my stomach each and every time I see them, and lastly I want everyone to know how much I care and appreciate them and want to provide the samething to them that I’m asking for.

So today I’m am going to try to let go of past hurt, pray that people forgive me for things I have said or done to them, and really work on forgiving those who have hurt me. I’m going to open up a little more, be more understanding, and try to be a little more carefree.

These things are not my New Year’s Resolutions but things I want to apply to my everyday life. To me New Year’s Resolutions are like wishes if you tell them they won’t come true, so I’m only sharing the first step of me living a healthier and happier life and hope that it may help you too.

I know we are 14 days into the New Year, but hey a girl was a little busy.